The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
