I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
