3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
