We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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