at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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