she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize