Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
