Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
