How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
