Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
