I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
