I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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