What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
