there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
