Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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