I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
