everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
