im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
