This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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