Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
