He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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