bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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