I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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