I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
