I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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