the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
