3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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