im drinking this country out of the recession.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
