pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
