Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
