i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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