the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
false alarm, still single
that may or may not have been my penis.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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