Please, let me fuck your mom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
