And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
