Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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