Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
