Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize