come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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