She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
