? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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