Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
