I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
