Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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