Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
