So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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