At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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