Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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