i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize