It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
