Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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