I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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