Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
