Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
