I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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