The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You literally asked him, βDo you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?β With no hesitation
Randomize