planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
