the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
