8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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