She's JV to your varsity
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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