VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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