i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
