And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize