wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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