Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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