I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
