I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize