this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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