I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
