I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
